V-2 (2-27-2011)

Hey, hey, ericandabbie here. No offense to our Roman Fetishists (HEY-OH), but you have been replaced by a new and even better search term; earlier this week, two people found us via “jesus rolling dice.” Ummm. Thanks, guys. Hope you stick around even though we, uh, we don’t know what exactly you’re looking for.

This veek’s puzzle vas pür shit. (Notice the double-v.) First off, the V2 (which is far inferior to D2: The Mighty Ducks Sequel) is the rocket that launched the first US Satellite into space. So it’s a confusing title since it’s supposed to refer to having answers with two ‘v’s. It’d be like if there were eight Vs, and we were all thinking about vegetable juice. Second off, the letter ‘v’ blows. And third off, 1D: “Eighth Hebrew letter” was misspelled. It can be CHET,or Π. But that’s it! Heth!? What the hellshit is that. I’ll tell you what, Mr. Peter A. Collins, you are a goy. Anyhow, the theme answers had two words starting with ‘V’—eg. 27A: John McCain and John Kerry (VIETNAMVETS). We were confident the answer was LOSERS, so it threw us off.

(PS – the puzzle is multiple colors b/c we had to sandwich two xword sessions around a Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never showing that CHANGED ABBIE’S LIFE. Love you, JB)


• Nothing. This puzzle sucked.

Ok, seriously - whose first crush WASN'T Benny 'The Jet' Rodriguez?

• 34A: “For-EV-er” (EONS). Fuck the answer. The Sandlot is a great film.

• 107A: “Keepers of the flame?” (VESTAL VIRGINS). While you may no longer be as cool as “jesus rolling dice”, we still love our Roman Fetishists.

• 3D: “Post-flood locale”. We were thinking like ROOFS, HIGH GROUND, something like that. Then we see 6D: “About 16,900 ft., for 3-Down” and all of a sudden we were like “Holy Shit. That’s fucking high. There’s a flood coming. Better start climbing Everest!” (Actual answer was MT. ARARAT. Which is presumably made-up, anyways.)

• 94D: “Catch some flies” (SHAG). We were kinda pumped that shagging balls made it into the puzzle.


• 1D: Seriously. It sucked.

• 24A: “Like most Western music” (TONAL). Cuz, you know, most music doesn’t use tones, so it’s a unique trait of Western music.

• 88A: “Canyonlands National Park features” (MESAS). Doesn’t it feature canyons?

• 102A: “Congolese River” (UELE). Pretty sure it’s just called “The Congo.”

• 98A: “Quality of new-fallen snow” (WHITENESS). Pretty, pristine, tranquil, picturesque, and, apparently, racist. We don’t see color, Will Shortz.

• 106A, 111A, 112A, 113A, 115A, 116A, 117A, 118A, and 121A: None of these are words. MRI, EEG, AEC,EDE, OSU, INT, SSE, RUR, NTS. WTF, FML!

• 14D: “Cadence syllables” (HUPS). We checked with Sam (he’s like John, but hairier and

And this is what happened when we google-imaged "HUPS," so, I guess the Germans know what's up?

scarier (he’s Persian)), and he agrees that it’s BU-DUM, BU-DUM. Three against one, Will Shortz. Srsly, when you google “hups,” things like the Houston Underwater Photographic Society (really, is there anything that doesn’t have a support group now?) and St Hupperts, the first bishop of Liege, Belgium come up. WHAT THE HELLSHIT ARE YOU SMOKING, WILL??

• 65D: “Coils” (SKEINS). We don’t know that word, and we’re not lookin’ it up. Suck on that.

• 78D: “Satisfied, for a while at least” (TIDED OVER). As native English speakers, we’re pretty sure this verb tense does not exist.

• 12D: “Some gunfire” (SALVOES). Is that a synonym for “loud?”

• The two random Vs in the puzzle that don’t cross with anything. It’s called a crossword, damnit, not an “isolated letter puzzle”.
That’s it. Sucky puzzle. A sign of its suckiness: Eric got “VESTAL VIRGINS” and Abbie got “ELEMENTS”, and no one got “HUPS.” (obvi BECAUSE, SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SMOKING, WILL??)

We’ll try to do better next time,

3 Responses to “V-2 (2-27-2011)”

  1. As a former knitter, a skein is bundle of yarn. DUH.

  2. D_Blackwell Says:

    I am so glad that y’all have shouldered the enormous burden of trying to rehabilitate Mr. Shortz. It seems hopeless, but the effort is noble. I hear that he plays ping pong without a helmet and has taken a few too many 100 MPH returns. On the bright side, even at his clearly diminished and dramatically declining capacity, he can still kick every other editor’s ass. At one time. With one hand tied behind his back. Blindfolded. While rocking to OUT IN LA.

    The answer to “_____-X” is supposed to be RID. He really botched that one.

    And SNUCK IN is a much better answer for “Entered carefully” than the lame EDGED IN. That should have been fixed.

    Why is Abbie’s name second? Isn’t Abbie the hot one? Why is Eric on the byline at all?

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